Beaten in basketball by my little sister, nope not either of the older two, my youngest little sister, and yes that is how sad I am at all things involving a ball and a score. Oh well it was definitely worth the half hour out in the sun with her. Do things like that with those  you care about, even if it's not for a long time, it changes the day.

All-State Jazz

I'm so excited for all-state! This year it will be held in St. George at Dixie State College and I will be leaving a couple days early to have a blast down there with my best friend Brady Heaps!! Looking forward to some slot canyons and warm weather! It's nice to take a little time off from the craziness of everyday life. If you haven't done that in a while, go for it!

Saw an ad on facebook that was for a guide to a dream golf career and I thought to myself I could probably write one of those myself. Step 1. learn to play golf. Step 2. get good. Step 3. get really good. Step 4. get scary good! Step 5. get better than everyone else. Step 6. play and beat everyone else. So if anyone is interested in my new guide it will be called "Putting Your Way to the Good Life In Six Easy Steps" and will only be 29.99$ + Shipping and handling, and also if you order now I'll throw in an extra step!!!

I admire Adam Young who is OWL City. I think to myself 'how does he see the world?' and I try so hard to see it differently than anyone else, maybe how he see's it, maybe not. But when I pose the question how do I see the world? I realize it boils down to how I want to see it, and whether or not I'm willing to give in to the darkest places that lonely thoughts can take me. To see the world in a way that no one else does requires everything, and it requires nothing. Being an individual we already see the world differently then anyone else..but can often be pulled into the mainstream ideals of general society. Seeing the world differently doesn't require that we're happy all the time and see wonderful things everywhere, it's okay to be sad, and to see that there is pain, because someone who see's the world differently doesn't ignore pain. They realize that to overcome it, and to live with it, it has to be recognized, it has to be seen, once you've recognized pain through personal experience, you begin to see that it's everywhere, in almost everyone whether they realize it or not, and once you see this, you see the world differently. You see a world that is ready for help at every turn, and as you empathize, and sympathize with others in a way that uplifts them, and in a way that helps them to start seeing differently, this is when you realize happiness however brief or long, is achievable. And then the world is new, bright, colorful, and different around every turn. See the world differently.

 Two nights ago when I was all alone for the weekend, again... I wrote this as the rain came crashing down around two A.M. it's kind of the way I feel each weekend in light of recent events..

"The sound of laughter used to sing when voices filled the air.
Happy moments brought about by children everywhere.
A bitter parting of the world of false and covered pain,
has left me all alone tonight with no sound but the rain.
The tender joy of Saturdays with pancakes and cartoons,
... and sweet Sundays at Grandmas house for birthdays and balloons,
have quickly turned to quietness in such an awful way,
cause nothing is as miserable as a lonely day.
So why then sing a lullaby? Or read a story book?
When deep and silent rainy nights, my happiness they took." -Me

With the recent split up of my family (which isn't necessarily a bad thing, and certainly was a necessary thing) life has definitely changed... big time. And isn't it funny how fast things change? I'd driven past those apartments so many times and not taken even a second glance, now that seemingly trivial part of my life has all of the sudden become a commonplace everyday scenery. The first day I pulled into those apartments the thought came into my mind, 'just another random thing that will painfully become commonplace and eventually lose all concept of being something new' now of course a few months later, that's exactly what those apartments have become... a normal part of life that happens each weekend, when I choose to show my face over there that is. It's usually just to drop off the kids (I am the oldest of six.)

The Reason Why

I've been wanting to do something like this for a while, here's a little background. My mother and father are recently divorced and life has been well let's be honest, it's been a nightmare for the past...ever. There's good days and there's bad days, and then there's days when you don't think you will see them through. Live for the good days because they'll usually be the reward at the end of each horrific day. The picture is me and my brother on one of the best days of my life that comes once a year...and for a moment, the rest of the year seems worth it.